When I first saw her shoes I saw the crazy bright colors. Then I got that POW or BAM feeling, it was like the colors were jumping at me. Also the laces make me feel a bit insane, the wild yellow all over the place and jumping out into all different directions. Then I could see the round edges and the ridged lines on the bottom of the shoe. Then when I started writing this, I looked more closely. I saw that on the white parts it’s actually plain or bland. I get the feeling like the white parts are just there, or they’re just an after thought. Now when I look at the tongue of the shoe it looks fluffy and it looks like a mini pillow. Then when I see the shoe as a whole I see that it is very small. The shoe almost looks like Alex went on a website and custom ordered them to be that way.
I like the onomotopeia here –you are into the writing.
haha. you’re great lee =]
yo, lee
haha. ok
i like this. in the beginning it has a lot of energy, and then you get descriptive.
is good
nice, a powerful beginning.